½ cup of real butter, room temperature
1 ½ cups of white sugar (no offense, but only white sugar, please)
2 large eggs
1 cup buttermilk
1 tsp. vanilla extract (not imitation, don’t be cheap)
Red food coloring
1 ½ tsp. baking soda
2 cups all-purpose flour (AP flour for short, stay with me)
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp. salt
1. Don’t be alarmed. I know it’s a lot of ingredients, but just put on your workin’ pants and prepare to get down and dirty.
2. First thing you want to do is preheat your oven to 350 degrees, then get out your cupcake tin and either grease the shit out of the cups or line them with cupcake liners. This recipe makes about 15-17 cupcakes, depending on how much you put in one cup.
** Fun fact, the bigger you make the cupcakes, the less you’ll hate yourself after eating all of them. I mean, isn’t eating 8 cupcakes better than 18? **
3. Next, you want to put the butter and the sugar into a glass bowl or your kitchen aid mixer and whip the shit out of it (whisk attachment on kitchen aid) until its lighter in color and fluffy.
4. Add in the eggs, buttermilk, red food coloring (a few drops), and the vanilla extract and mix it all around.
5. Now, in a different bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, cocoa powder and salt. Once it’s all together, slowly mix that into the wet mixture your bad ass self had going in the other bowl.
6. Once it’s all smooth and shit, spoon the batter into your greased cupcake tin, say a prayer (or whatever you want to say tbh) and stick it right into the oven, preferably in the middle.
7. Bake it for 20-25 minutes, or until you stick a toothpick in and it comes out cleaner than your undies at the end of a long day.
8. Take em’ out, put the cupcakes onto a wire rack, or just another plate really so they don’t keep cooking in the pan. Once they’re cooled, frost with whatever you want. I just used cream cheese frosting from whole foods, no shame.