Ses-ahhh-me Fruit Salad

Just FYI, I bought all this shit from Whole Foods, only because I know that some of those basic ass grocery stores won’t have the crazier stuff you use in this recipe, even though those ingredients ain’t that crazy.  The flavors are different, but just trust, you’ll enjoy the shit out of it. It actually goes really well with a nice semi sweet Riesling if you’re fancy.


1 large white nectarine

½ cup fresh blueberries

1-2 sprigs of fresh ass lemon thyme (yes, it’s real, keep looking)

1-2 sprigs of fresh dill

½ tbsp. of toasted sesame seed oil

1 tsp. of granulated sugar

½ tbsp. of fresh lime juice

Sprinkle of salt and pepper


1.     First off, the nectarines do have a pit in them, or a seed or whatever the frick you wanna call it. Cut it like you would an avocado, sliced around the middle and then pull it apart.

2.     Slice off each cheek (or side of the nectarine) and set aside, once you have as much as possible cut off, you can either discard the core or go at it like the hungry raccoon you are.

3.     Slice each cheek of the nectarine into thin thin slices and keep them in a bowl with some lime juice to keep them from browning to quick and keeping them fresh.

4.     In another bowl, combine nectarine slices, blueberries, fresh dill, toasted sesame seed oil, sugar and lime juice. Mix that concoction (not with your hands, you animal) and top with sprigs of lemon thyme and salt and pepper.

5.     Let it sit for 15-20 minutes. I suggest to actually let it sit and not just pretend you missed that step in the recipe. It helps, a lot.

6.     Spoon into whatever you want, or right into your mouth, and enjoy. You’re welcome.